Saturday, December 26, 2009

Work pressures, last of Lisa project and beaches of Goa

Well, last week i mentioned that 2 of server side programmers were leaving us. Well, one of them left very amicably. The other one probably has made a dash for it but i guess he has just added to the mess of it all. if Ajay reports on time on Monday, all will be well (hopefully) but if he doesn't, it will just add to the pressures. Ajay didn't come on Thursday and there was an open bug for Sit N Go tournaments where in the losers who become observers were not being cleaned up by server. So poor chaps, they lose and on top of that they can't login forever :-) If Ajay would have been around, it should have been fixed by him. But as he wasn't, it came to me and Vijay Simha to turn it around, which we did at 10 PM. Took the whole day in fixing one bug :-) And that has been the story this whole week. Things have not progressed much even after so much slogging. It does bring down the morale and all that bullshit stuff I used to read in the OB course. 3 days of break was something that i really looked forwards to.
On Christmas, we left on a package tour. I was dead against it as I hate these package tours. They promise much but deliver so less that one starts protesting. But Meetu prevailed and so we were in that damned bus. It took 1 hour to reach a temple of Sri Vetaal and then another 30 minutes to reach Mayem Lake. We did boating there which was fun. Then we went to Vagator beach. We just had 1/2 an hour but we went on sea scooter and Kush had a terrific time. Another 20 minutes of bus drive took us to Anjuna beach where we had just 20 minutes. Another 40 mins drive took us to Fort Aguawada (or something like that) and then to Calugate beach where Kush vomited all that he had eaten. By this time I was tired and angry at this whole waste of day. I firmly believe that if you really want to enjoy you have to give time and so no more just covering the points for me. If you decide to go to the beach, at least spend some good time over there. If you want to go to a place, give it some time to explore it. Otherwise it is just plain waste of time. On the plus point, all the 3 beaches were great so may be one of these days we will head over to one of them and spend some time :-)
Today I received an email from Jagdeep that Lisa project is over and done with. It brought back some happy memories and some really bad ones. I do miss the comraderie that we all shared for that project. It was a happy team and we really enjoyed a lot. I left it on a very acrimonious note and I still hate my managers in that team. For me Lisa project was over the day I moved to Motorola.
So, what can i expect next week? more work, of course, but some of it will be managerial. I will be implementing the whole new tracking process for the product team and that will take some time. I will have to learn the poker server code which will be another very challenging activity. Should be fun. The team has accepted me as their own and they have started respecting me. From here, things can proceed in only 1 way - more fun and more comraderie. I hope I can recreate a team like Lisa here. Then it will be really an achievment. Imagine in a short span of 5 years, creating a great bonded team, enjoying their work as well as each other's company. So God help me :-)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

good to see the back of this week

One of the most hectic and frenetic week has just passed. It was a week where in there was a lot to do and there was so little time to complete them. Add to that 2 recalcitrant workers who have put in their papers and who don't want to stretch, 1 boss who doesn't want to take a NO for an answer and you have a potboiler, albeit rather common in this part of the world. The target seemed innocuous initially, run the updated shill server and run the tournament on Rounders. Well, the shill server ran fine here and then on the d-day when it was uploaded on the live server, it crashed, froze tables and hung the game. Wow !!!! Then the Rounders tournament... every time we ran it we ran into a new issue. it almost became a joke, well actually a very bad one, reflecting the way earlier people treated this code. Anyways, when the shill server crashed on live server, I presumed there would be trouble, but nothing, not even a whimper. I couldn't figure that out initially, but then i learnt that VijayD and AjayN are both leaving and soooo, there was no point in giving them a dressing down, you see and I am fairly new to this code so giving me a dose won't help the matters either :-)
Well, the good news is that tournament on Rounders worked great. We achieved what LokeshK and his team couldn't. Lokesh had even gone on the records saying the task is unfeasible. Well, so much for that forecast :-)
Meetu has become a fan of Raaz pichle janam ka, where in a volunteer is made to undergo past life regression so that he or she revisits his/her old life and the expert seeks to find answers to questions that the volunteer might have had. To be very frank, most of the stories seem to be conjured up, work of the feverish mind. The volunteer seem to have already crafted the story and he/she just retells it. So far I have not found any observation worth remembering from this show but one has to keep an open mind.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Prodigal employee and fraudulent customers

Well, if the last week was strange, this week started on a very surreal note. Amit, who had been fired last week, walked in at 9:30 along with boss. Well, well, the prodigal employee was back. Or was he? Monday and Tuesday were spent in watching his antics as he started throwing his weight around, shouting at people, intimidating some, browbeating others. It was both hilarious and nauseating simultaneously, comical and infuriating rolled into one. Add to that the drama enacted by Arin when Amit was taking a longggggg break. Arin was seen blabbering, shouting loudly, being obnoxious and once Amit came in, he went straight to enacting the nice persona. Talk about integrity and he is the living epitome of it !!!!! Oh, what surreal fun !!!! But it was too good to last :-) Amit walked out of office on Tue at 4 PM and rode straight into the sunset, never to come back (we all really hoped and prayed for that). The next day was spent in high anticipation. Will he come back? Won't he come in today? What will happen now? Well, Amit hasn't come in as yet and so has been marked as Employee Missing In Action. Anybody who knows anything about him is most welcome to share the news with us here. We just want to believe that he is settled where ever he is and that he won't come back to haunt us again. Oh, you ever elusive mental peace, how I beseech you?
On Friday evening, we discovered a customer who was defrauding us on a pretty regular basis. Of course there is a bug in poker server and this guy just stumbled upon it. And once he figured it out, he started milking in a very frenzied manner. By the time it was discovered that this guy was doing something funny, he had taken out 12K. Once we figured out the modus operandi, the account was requested to be blocked for the time being. Some 2 weeks ago, 3 players had colluded and committed a fraud of Rs 3.1 lakh again on the poker table. So, that's the next high priority item for now. Fix all the bugs related to money asap.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

movies, work and long meeting

I watched the movie Ajab Prem ki... recently and I loved the movie. The story is third rate, but the presentation is very very good. Be it the characters, settings, script, actors slipping easily into their characters, or the combination of all these, the movie watching experience was ultimate. some of the scenes were hilarious. And I really really loved Ranbir Kapoor. Amazing screen presence who gives all to the shot being filmed, he should be here for a long time. I also watched Kurbaan and I hated the movie. Apart from the terrorists being hailed as heroes and the movie defending their evil acts, the main actors could not do justice to their roles. I think it was because of director. Sample this. The terrorist gets hit. His estranged wife, who was shown to hate his presence, suddenly becomes caring and then in a bid to appease god, starts praying in a muslim manner while she was shown to be a hindu. bahut hi ghaitya movie :-(
so, watch ajab prem ki gazab kahani and avoid kurbaan.
On work front, I managed to make really really big strides, so that the reconnection thing should be wrapped up in 2-3 days. So much for casino. After Amit left, I was given the charge of poker too. Had 2 meetings with concerned people. Turns out that code changes are almost done. Review has to be done and testing has to be performed. So the next week looks packed. But these projects are moving rapidly towards maintenance mode. Let us see what comes once we reach that stage.
On Friday, I was called in for a meeting. The original purport was to share the estimate of work to be done that Amit was doing. So i assumed 10 minutes at the most. the meeting went on for 3 hours. we touched upon many topics, from the next steps to short term plans, the interest shown by clients. I learnt a lot many things that day about the company and the vision of boss, came out really tired but very very impressed. When you know that the owner has a vision and the commitment to go after that vision, it really puts one's mind at ease. You know that there will be days of struggle ahead, but once you know that there will be someone to back you all the way, you suddenly stop fearing and start believing.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

disconnection, reconnection and one firing

This week has been one of the most absurd week that I ever witnessed in my entire career. It all started inconspicuously enough. I had to finish the reconnection related stuff. I had done some changes for handling duplicate login issue which was now clashing with reconnection related changes. On Monday, I was 1/2 an hour late and I was summoned by boss. I later found that boss had reached office at 9:30 and was going thru all the entry records. Amit had walked in at 10 and put in a time of 9:45, which was caught and the perpetrator publicly questioned. On Tuesday, Amit walked in the morning and walked out in another hour or so. Why, you would learn in a little while. On Tuesday, boss walked in at 2 PM to check on who had got late after lunch. I had made it on time :-) But there was no work post lunch. Every one had to lend hands to dismantle and rearrange things. At 5 PM, I was called in for a meeting. I learnt then that Amit has been fired, not because he was incompetent but because he had referred boss as "upparwala" and that he had refused to work unless his salary was paid, which was really strange because the boss had promised to pay salary by 3rd of month. Then I heard a long list of transgressions on how Amit would come late every day, how he has taken a leave of 54 days in 5 months, how he would take leave w/o informing everyone. Basically a nightmare for the manager, who had turned a loose cannon and every one had suffered and how. Anyways, on Wed, my changes were still not working and Uttkarsha told me that it was her last day. Just like that, no inkling about that. Anyways, around lunch hour, someone started howling and there was complete bedlam in the office, with everyone running out the backdoor only to be kicked inside by boss who was handling things over there. What was happening? The case turned out to be a rude answer by Jayesh to Radha's question who got so terrified by Jayesh's threat of escalating things that she started crying and howling. Well, what did I do? I calmly walked out of office and went home for lunch :-0 By the time I returned, normalcy had returned. At 4 PM same day, I got out of office to take a break. Vivek came outside and coolly informed me that he has been given a notice of 15 days to prove himself or to pack things out. I chose not to react at all. On getting no reaction, Vivek got infuriated and informed that in 2-3 months, I will become the target to be fired on first chance. I again chose not to react at all. By the time my break was over, I was calm and composed and I had left a very disgruntled and disoriented Vivek behind. By the time it was 7 PM, I had found the bug and solved it. Thursday is St Francis day so a public holiday in Goa. I took my family to Panjim market and then to Caranzalem Park.
And so there are still 2 days left in the week. Let us see if there would be some more strange events unfolding , some more storms brewing, some more lunacy lighting up things....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

new beginning

Change has always been frightening to cope up with, especially the one where future becomes unpredictable. For quite some time, I had wanted to join a gaming company so as to experience first hand the travails of a online game creating company. And then I got this opportunity to work with Cybertech in Goa. At first I was kind of spooked out. A startup which has just moved to India, how good could it be? Turned out it is a great place to work with. The team has bright individuals, the owner is ambitious and to top it all, there are clients who are willing to buy the product, a far cry from my previous organization :-)
I had been told that I would be into development for some time and I had readily agreed as it let me use my experience and programming skills. As of now, I have already figured out the VC++ client and the Java server for Casino games. Initially it was overwhelming, but now after some really long hours, things are beginning to make sense. My changes have started working. And so on to bigger things :-)
Goa is a great place, the climate almost similar to that of Bangalore. It would be a little hot during the day but it would always grow cold at night. Pollution is much much less than as compared to Delhi. My office is at walking distance from where I am putting up. Only issue pending now is to get Kush admitted to a good school. Hopefully it should be done by next week.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Diwali 2009

It must be because of my upbringing, my days spent at Bhagalpur, but the festival of lights is something that I really cherish and wait for the whole year. The story behind celebrating diwali is equally interesting, I have loved Ramayana since my childhood days. But I feel that the combined effect of cleaning house, shopping, placing diyas, doing the puja and bursting the crackers really light the festival for me :-)
And so this year too, we spent one full day shopping and then cleaning the house. And Kush had a whale of time lighting his sparklers and then running to hide himself when a bomb was lighted. But the best of show came around 10 PM, when a gentleman decided to entertain the society public. He had these big boxes, which on lighting up sent numerous rockets up which would burst in the air sending bright sparkles all around. Add the sound of a big gun going everytime a rocket would be forced on its journey up and then imagine the chaos of sound and light and smoke filling in the air,reducing everything to becoming a spectator. It was fun when the first box was lighted up, it became torture after 5th one and the 7th one had completely lost its charm. It was like we just wanted some respite from the light and sound show. And then the next morning, we saw the field littered with torn pieces of paper and remains of crackers and the big boxes. What a waste !!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

new beginning and fear

Fear of the unknown is long accepted to be a part of life. The prehistoric man would hesitate in taking a new path or going to a new place because there were so many unknowns on the way. and the familiarity of routine breeds a pretense of being safe and secure in the big bad world. the unknown always appears to be frightening because one doesn't know anything about it. once the unknown has been explored, it loses its sting because then the mind can safely categorize it. And so when I got this tentative new opportunity, the initial feeling of euphoria soon gave way to fear and trepidation. How will the experience be? Will it be worthwhile? Or should I wait for something else? Well, honestly, it is difficult to predict the future and so I have decided to go with the flow. This brings me to another point. Why are the astrology and related things (tarot, i ching) so very popular? I think it is also related to the fear of future. Future as it stands is always uncertain and uncertainty breeds fear. And so to beat the fear, it is always better to consult the oracle. And that's how the fascination of humankind has grown with any kind of tool which can predict the future of give indication of nature of outcome. To be very honest, I have been following the astrological predictions for my sun sign for some 2 months now. But it has all been bullshit. Generally written in a very round about way, it is always (and that's the rule) circumspect and hollow in content. One can keep on following these predictions and not know what is going to hit him in the next moment :-)
So, after all these months and countless sites, do I feel comfortable in following the advice given for my sun sign? No, if I really want to feel for the outcome of some action, I only have to open a book (any book), randomly open a page and randomly draw my finger on a word. The nature of that word will give me clues. And this is not my concocted brew. I had read about it long time back when I was religiously reading the Hindu scriptures. And I saw it again in the Messiah by Richard Bach. Use it. You will feel the magic on your fingertips.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Trip to Vaishnodevi and back

For a long long time I had been postponing the trip to Vaishnodevi, not because I didn't want to go there but because I had this genuinely sincere belief that I will truly have the call from Ma "chalo bulawa aaya hai" :-) Well, finally no such message came and I had to agree to the trip planned from 2nd to 4th Oct. The original idea was to land in Jammu on morning of 2nd and then straight away go to Katra, check in a hotel and then avail the helicopter service to the shrine. We managed to meet the original plan till the hotel check in part (train reached Jammu at 5 AM on 2nd), but then found out that helicopter service is over booked. Rather than risking life and limb on ponies, we all agreed to leg it up. For Kush, I decided to carry him on my back.
After all the bathing and breakfasting and security procedures, we started climbing up at 1 PM. Straight away I realized that the uphill climb was very very arduous, more so with Kush in my arms. I had to take a break every 75 steps or so and by the time it was 2:30 PM, I hadn't even reached the 1st stop Charan Paduka situated at a distance of only 2 kms. After some discussions, Meetu prevailed on me to hire a pithoo, a coolie to carry Kush up. And then we started the real climb. After we reached Adhkwari ( a distance of 6.5 km), we took the newly laid path straight to Bhawan, a distance of 5.5 kms. This part was easier as the climb was not as steep as compared to earlier path. To cut a long story short, we all reached Bhawan by 6:30. And then found that the darshan has been stopped till 9 PM. We all waited and waited, and the hunger and tiredness made us snappy and angry. I couldn't figure out why we were being made to suffer like this, but wait was all we could do. Finally at 9 PM, the line started moving, but by then we had run into a problem. There was no space in the locker and we had many items to store. So another long wait for locker space. At 10:30 PM, we joined the line. The line moved slowly and finally at 12 PM, we finally had the darshan, a quick 2-3 seconds look up of the pinds. Then we dragged our weary bodies to claim our things from locker and had some food. We decided to take ponies for the downhill journey. We had to find 4 but we could find only 3. I couldn't get a horse for the downhill journey and so with a heavy heart and still heavier legs, I started on the downhill journey, alone, disappointed, angry with everyone. After 9 Kms of constant walking, with some 30 seconds break thrown in, I realized that I could walk no more. My knees trembled, my legs didn't want to move. It was when I couldn't bring my body to move an inch that I heard a comment from a little girl behind me. She was happy that the trick her mother had taught her was holding her beautifully on her trek downhill. The trick was simple. Instead of going down in a straight line, start jogging left and right so that the body is moving constantly at an angle to the road unfurling below one. I followed it and was able to drag myself to 1 km of my destination, the auto stop. But for the last 1 km, I would never have understood the meaning of pain. Every step, every movement was a very very painful jab, every breath reminding me that I needed rest. Somehow I dragged myself to the auto stand, took an auto and reached hotel room at 4:30 AM (all done and dusted in 23 hours flat !!!). I had made the downhill trek in 2 hours 20 minutes or so. But I was really really tired. When I entered my bed, I had tears in my eyes, tears of relief. It was an incredible feeling. The remainder of night flew away and I woke with pain all over my body. And then I realized the import of all this meaningless trek taxing my body, causing so much pain and discomfort. It is after suffering pain that one can really feel the bliss and the blessings. That's the idea behind that arduous trek up and down.

Monday, September 21, 2009

my first action game

Finally, after lot of issues and bugs, I was able to create a shooting game. It is a very simple game with balloons on screen (dancing pseudo randomly) and with a gun on the bottom of screen which can move left and right capable of shooting one bullet at a time. If the bullet hits a balloon, score is incremented. So simple yet so problematic !!!!
First of all, for the sprites to be displayed, paint() method should not be overridden, at least by a novice like me :-) Once I figured that out, I modified the game to see the balloons on screen. Then came the logical part of arranging it, setting up the gun, fixing the bullets, checking for collisions. Once it was all done, I realized that on pressing Fire the game starts but it also causes a bullet to fire as the bullets are sent on pressing Fire key. When the game starts, the jvm or kvm assumes that the fire key is still pressed (it was pressed to start the game) and so it sends the bullet up. This caused a lot of consternation. I skimmed the net to find some help but it seems there is no way to clear the keys (at least I couldn't find any till now). So I created another form to force the user to click on play to start the game. That solved the problem for now.
The game is running well on my A1200. It lacks a lot of features, mostly sound, and there are some bugs too (once moving the gun caused it to enter an endless loop, that was funny :-)), but yes now I have truly entered the land of sprites. Now I can dream of making some sophisticated game with some real sword fighting (my son has been demanding it for some time now....)
The Navratras are here and there are a lot of things that I wish for and keep on praying for. But these things are between me and my maker. Here is hoping for better times.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

morbid thoughts

this whole last week has literally flown by, with clock ticking so very fast !!!!!
we have had guests, one of them a very very sick cancer patient. on wednesday, we got the news that the doctor has given up on him giving him at max 3 months to live. it was a sad news and i became party to the decision of not sharing this decision with his wife, lest she starts creating scenes. anyways i am not fond of her. she talks a lot, mostly nonsense to my ears. ever since her husband has been stricken with this deadly disease, slowly killing him, she has taken up this role of a tragedy queen, always moping her eyes and generally seeking sympathy. Even when the news of looming death was broken to me, I didn't feel an iota of sympathy for her. On Saturday, some test reports came in which resulted in dramatic change of prediction from the doctor. Now the timeframe has jumped to 5 years at least. Well, great news !!! or is it bad news? the cancer treatment takes time, requires patience and costs a hell lot of money. With the retired person soon burning through the savings, it becomes a decision of whether to prolong the agony of one man or to to prolong the savings needed to support the bereaved family. A sad state of affairs, but c'est la vie !!!!
last night, my wife asked me a simple question. What would be the gentleman thinking of now that he has learnt that he still has some more time on earth? Will it be about money? Will it be about his past life? Will it be about the decisions that he has made here, about the sacrifices, about paths not followed, about lost love? What would it be that he would be thinking of, when he goes to sleep? I was taken aback by the question. First I tried to wriggle out by proclaiming that I am not yet 33, how can I even pretend to understand what a 75+ man would be thinking of? But the logic didn't cut ice with her. Then I changed tack and argued that my thinking has always been different from people around me but my wife won't let me slip so easily, agreeing with it and how she totally understands it, but still would like me to put myself into his shoes and share my thoughts on it. So, then, with no way out, I really started to think about it. If I were terminally sick, what would I be thinking about? And well, for me, the lost opportunities, the paths not taken, the regrets of not following my heart, lost love came back flooding me with a severe intensity. These were the only thoughts that came to me, regret the only emotion I felt. And so we talked into the night, pondering on the silly question "what would have been if I had done this and not that?" "phir kya hota uske baad?"
I also remembered the Virginia Woolf's classic "To the Lighthouse". In that book, she has created a character who is always seeking sympathy, who is forcing others to take pity on him, forcing them to take a forgiving stance for him. This character generated a lot of ill feeling around him, even filling his own children with revulsion. I shared it with my wife and told her that the lady is doing the same thing, forcing others to do something that they don't want to do, generating a lot of bad will around her.But who is going to bell the cat and share it with her? so be it. C'est la vie!!!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Hangman works on my A1200

Finally I got the hangman game working on my A1200. It has 2 dictionaries and looks decent when it runs :-)
So, I was finally able to handle the user key presses. The game logic was convoluted but eventually it all worked together. I have this feeling that the code is a trifle inefficient right now, but it is good to go. The help page needs work but it can wait :-)
There is J2ME Polish that I must get my hands on. It has custom forms and other goodies that I need to know to create a better user experience.
Now a bigger exercise. A game which will have sprites. I am going ahead with my images. After all the intent is more important than the letter.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hangman with J2ME

I had intended to start with another mobile game which would have sprites and collision detection and action and sword fighting and what not :-)
But the plans ran into rough weather as I could not create the images. When I tried creating the hero, my wife told me it does not even resemble a human or an alien. Forget about the sword. Suffice it to be said that the sword was a cross between a monkey's tail and some threads running here and there. So I haven't yet given up the hope of working on the game. It just meant that I need to spend more time in using GIMP to figure it out.
Well so I started work on a version of Hangman game. The idea was to create a simple game which will have a dictionary of all the cartoon serials that Kush watches. And then to add more dictionary with other words that we want him to learn. See the hidden evil intention of making Kush learn even while he is happy gaming :-)
Now this hangman sounded very easy theoretically. But it is a tough nut to crack...
After 3 days of working on it, I have the framework ready, but the game logic is not working properly right now. I had realized yesterday that the toughest part was to represent the keys and to get the user input. I came up with a smart work around, but the trouble with being smart is it leads one to uncharted territories. As of now, the only trouble is to make the selection go around the keys so that the user can type in the characters. I hope to complete it tomorrow.

Friday, September 4, 2009

my first game using j2me

Finally, after lot of reading and lot of pondering, I got started on designing a simple game so that I could test my knowledge. I zeroed on a Trivia game as it is really simple to design. One question will follow the next and at the end a score will be displayed. I used netbeans as the ide. Well the game got designed rather quickly but I ran into rough weather with image display and audio playback. After some googling of concepts, i was able to display images, add a midlet icon, play a tone at the end of game in the simulator. It was great. But then I transferred the jar to my motorola a1200 handset and immediately there were problems. The image at start won't display. The game would hang.
I kept reading about Motorola handsets, but to no avail. Finally I realized that it is the java applications manager on the a1200 which was not able to cope with the amount of work being done at runtime. So I got the images created in constructor of canvas. Still it won't work. I had made canvas runnable, but then I removed it, thinking it might be because of the 2 threads running concurrently that could cause the problem. Still no success !!!
So today I fixed the form for right answer and wrong answer and got them filled in the constructor. During run time I would just choose the right form to be displayed. And so the game finally ran its course on A1200. But the image at startup won't display. I read a lot about paint() and how setCurrent(canvas) will call the paint(), but for some foggy reason, it didn't work on A1200. And all the time it would work on the simulator.
And then I stumbled upon it. In the sample code on the internet, I saw that the anchor "Graphics.TOP" was being used in conjunction with "Graphics.LEFT". And I was not using the TOP anchor. I immediately changed it and finally I got the results that I wanted. A simple trivia game that will display an image at the start and run its course properly. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now on to bigger challenges. A new adventure game which will have a lot of sprites action and of course sprites collision detection.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

exercises in meditation

It has been a long journey this, from January this year till date, looking for that elusive perfect job opportunity. It has been a bit of roller coaster really, what with one bad news following another, with one setback closely following another and sometimes piggybacking. When I look back, this year has been the hardest of all my years here on this planet and I have gone through some really really bad years.
But apart from the usual complaining mode, I also feel that this passage of time has been really beneficial for me. One needs adversity to really know oneself, the depths of despair that one can go through with only hope providing succour to the aggrieved self. I have changed a lot. My ego has taken a harsh beating and it has led me to discover the world in totally different light. I have softened my stance on lot of things and I have mellowed down a lot. More over, I have stopped hurting others with my barbs and comments. And I have been doing a lot of breathing exercises and some meditation exercises.
When I first read Power of Now, I was intrigued by the idea that thoughts can be stopped. It was a novel concept for me because you see I believed that thoughts are what have shaped me. And I love thinking. It could be about reading what is in front of eyes and reflecting on it. It could be a problem analysis. Or it could be just plain day dreaming. Thoughts have raged inside me, egged me to say or to do things. And to imagine a state of being where thoughts can be stopped so that the self can be heard. Wow !!! But no matter how hard I tried, I always failed. The thoughts were always there. I tried some pranayam. I tried living in the now by being more aware of my surroundings. But everytime I would check, the damned thoughts were always there. I couldn't stop them, couldn't control them. But gradually I could fashion them. I would constantly check on myself and if I felt that I don't have to think this way, I could coerce them into thinking something else. But when I would close my eyes to just be in that moment, the noise would return. A fragment of song, a tune, a face, a scene would start playing again. And so it continued. Then I read a book of Tibetan philosophy on meditation. I liked the idea and gave it a try. Well for one ephemeral moment, I felt I was really in the moment. And then it was gone because you see I was trying to record my emotions and that, my friends, is a nagging thought running behind the scenes.
But today finally I broke the shackles. In the morning, when I sat down for the customary session of closing my eyes, of focusing on my breath and of de-cluttering my mind, it suddenly happened. I was focusing on the middle of my eyes and suddenly everything started glowing yellow, like some light. I immediately opened my eyes and I saw that the sky was covered with clouds. I closed my eyes again and after some time again the yellow light turned on. As I kept focusing, some random thought kept disturbing me. But rather than giving up, I persisted. And for some seconds, I felt peace and tranquility. I was suddenly happy, relaxed. And I realized no thoughts !!!! For some seconds, I dwelt there, happy to be there, just being fully present in that moment. And then when I tried opening my eyes, they wouldn't open. It was so relaxing, so peaceful that I didn't want to get out of that state, even when a little voice was now getting louder to break out of it. Was it trance? I don't know but I was able to open my eyes. I felt wonderful then, very happy, very content. This is how I want to be. After all these years of torture and suffering the constant howling of idiotic thoughts, I was finally able to quieten it.
Well the feeling didn't remain for long. Pretty soon, I was in my car, driving towards office and the regular jams and honking jolted me out of it. But I am going to try it again, tomorrow and every day.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

exercises in business development

The past few days have been crazy. It just seems that gods are not smiling at me. I keep on praying so hard for things I need, absolutely need to retain my sanity in this depraved, crazy world and the gods in their infinite wisdom keep on denying me. I keep on searching for some clue as to understand how I fit in the grand scheme of things, but my finite learnings have a limit. On the personal front, this whole month has been very very harrowing for me, enough to send a normal person down the spiral of depression. "ye to main hun ki is haal me bhi zinda hoon"
On the professional front, this whole month has been exercises in futility. I finally got the work I really really wanted to do. I have always known that I am a seeker, that I thrive when I have to read something about a lot of something. But I sometimes falter when I have to focus my research on only one topic. As such, reading tenders and writing business proposals is a dream come true for me. In this one month of August, I have read about Intelligent Tutoring Systems and how it can be implemented using AI and Java and I have read about Electronic Records Management System and about moreq2. So far a very good month for me :-)
I also read a lot about J2ME programming and I have finally figured out a simple enough game which I can develop over my free time and over weekends. I need to start on the coding part of it now. This should be a fairly simple trivia game, which should allow me to write and test my own game. Once this is done, on to bigger things....

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Janmasthami, Independence day and loudspeaker songs

You would be very familiar with this pattern - everytime there is a festival, people just have to demonstrate their enthusiasm (their affluence...) by being as loud as possible. I mean the colors are loud, the jewelery adorned by women have to be loud, and who can even ignore the bleating loudspeaker blaring one cacophony after another.
yesterday it was Janmasthami, the birth of Lord Krishna, celebrated by lots and lots of people. the morning began on a peaceful note, but then soon descended into chaos and it became noisy. But it was nothing as compared to today. Today is Independence day and the loudspeakers have started blaring from 9:30 AM. I don't know when will they stop. I think there is a rule in Delhi which prohibits loudspeakers after 10 PM so that people can sleep. I remember when I was a child in Bhagalpur, it used to be pretty lawless then. People would keep on blaring loudspeakers throughout the night and if someone would dare protest, he would be threatened with dire consequences. It used to be sleepless nights for all of us back then what with one loudspeaker blaring from one direction and the other loudspeaker blaring from another. Since then I have detested loud music and I have hated all those people who go around disturbing others in the name of celebrating something, those lousy insensitive uncouth fools.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Kush has turned 5 !!!!!

Time really really flies, there is no doubt about it. I was blessed with a son on Aug 5 2004. He was so small then, so vulnerable, so innocent. I could hold him using one arm only. I remember that initially it took some time before he started recognizing me and accepting me as someone who is always around him. I remember that when ever I would shave my facial hairs, he would stop recognizing me :-)
Now 5 years have gone by and a lot has changed. He is now able to conjure up stories and narrate them well. He is still very young. Sometimes when I am lying in bed in the morning, I hear his little feet tapping on the floor as he runs from living room to bathroom, little tap tap tap, furious little slaps on the floor as he flies to bathroom so that he can be back before the ad break gets over. Now he prefers noisy little toys, especially those of Ben 10 franchise. Sometimes he creates such a din that it is almost impossible to sit through it :-)
We celebrated his birthday yesterday. Lots of relatives turned up to wish him. And he was very very happy. Usually he goes to bed by 9 PM, but yesterday we could manage to put him to bed only by 10 PM. He was very very tired and he was still singing "happy birthday to me!!!".
I sometimes wonder about the limits of memory, about how much can it store. And I have come to a sad conclusion that old memories fade rather quickly yielding their places to newer ones and that bad (sad) memories get imprinted on the walls refusing to fade into oblivion. Everytime I start thinking about the past, the regret and the pain of missed opportunities, of what could have been, come rushing in. In a sense, "power of now" was right. Past has got no place at all except giving us opportunity to learn something. Otherwise it weighs us down with its unbearable weight. Future is something that is still unborn (bhavishya ke garbh me kya chipa hai koi nahi janata :-)). But the Now as the present moment is the key. And it holds true for my relation with my son. If I start reflecting on it, I would tend to remember his tears and the callous manner by which I denied him something that he desired. And the regret will completely overshadow the happier moments. But of course it is not true. The landscape appears tinted because my memory tints it in a certain awful manner.
I love my child unconditionally. I have genuinely tried to make him happy and content. I want him to remember me fondly when he grows up and moves on with his life. I want him to look at his childhood days with fondness and I want him to have happy memories of his time spent with us. I had read somewhere that the nature of memories of early childhood drives the nature of personality of a person. So a happy and secure childhood will give way to serene outlook and a scarred nightmarish childhood will give way to suspicious outlook. I have been a cynic and suspicious all my life and I don't want my son to go through the hell that I have gone through. That is the only present I want to give him.

Friday, July 31, 2009

android phone costing more than 30K in india !!!!!!!!

This was a blow by the way, a major blow. I was at HEC when i had first learnt that Google's Android is being used by HTC to launch a mobile handset in USA. Ever since, I had wanted to lay my hands on one. Now HTC has brought Magic to India with Airtel and they are going to charge more than 30000/- for it. This is so awful. The same mistake was committed by iphone people who priced it way high above the normal price and then later were found unable to comment on the low sales. I mean this kind of price is too high. There are idiots who love to buy these handsets to display their affluence, but for most of the people this is unreachable and once their interest dwindles in the product, nothing can shake it off the shelves, nothing.
I hope better sense prevails and they bring down the price. I read another report which said that close to 18 different models will be entering Indian market, all of them using Android, by this year end. I guess the prices will stabilise then.
On another note,I stumbled across gameboy emulator for mac. Great !!! so you can download the gameboy game on your mac and use this emulator to run it. I downloaded kigb and one game from internet and it worked, though the screen size was very small and it lost a lot of resolution when i stretched the window to a reasonable size. but hey, it worked didn't it? great job!!!
With the weekend almost here, the only thing I want to see is 6 PM on the clock so that I can pack and leave for home. 2 days of bliss and rest beckon me !!!! I hope I can catch up somewhat on Android this weekend.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Beer, Wolverine, Perian and other stuff

Days are just slipping by me !!!! it is already nigh about end of July and there are still a lot of pending issues to complete. You must have gone thru this phase, lots of small, niggling items that need your attention, almost crying to get your attention and you just simply don't have either the patience or time to address them. I have got almost 15 such items on my plate and I need at least 2 full days to complete them. Am targeting this weekend (there goes my quiet time...)
Last Friday, after almost willfully forcing myself to abstain from alcohol, I went to a hotel with Sachin and had 4 beers. Great Beer !!! Taste was exquisite. Original idea was to down a quick one and go home but after 3 hours and 4 beers, I still wanted more :-) Thankfully had the sense to stop and to drive carefully home. made it safe that night although had some motorists honking madly at me on the Ashram flyover. must have done something crazy although can't remember it now :-)
On Saturday, played a Wolverine game MRD escape and wow, that game is addicting!!!! My son and i have almost completed the game and we had a lot of fun out of it. That made me think about quality time to be spent with children. I mean, honestly, is playing an online game with your son a good way to spend time? The only rationalization I can proffer is that we both had tonnes of fun and I guess that part is important too.
On Sunday, I downloaded a pirated version of a new movie (won't tell you which one) from a brand new site (won't tell you about it either LOL). I ran into a problem immediately. It was an avi file and quick time won't run it citing lack of some codec and realplayer will run it but won't play sound. So, I started looking for ways to make it run. I downloaded xvid codec for quicktime. Video started running, but no sound. Downloaded audio codec for quicktime, but no luck. Then I ran into www.perian.org. Wow !!! great job and that too done as open source. I don't know why but I have lot of trust in these open source software. It is my dearest wish to somehow contribute to open source with something, I will find a way to do that. And after I installed everything, well, the movie started playing with proper sound and all. The quality of movie sucks but what else was to be expected. I still have to watch the movie though :-)
Delhi had lots of rain on Monday 27th of July. It was enough to flood the roads, break apart the roads, fell down the trees and create traffic snarls. I was stuck for about an hour before I could find my way home. A 1/2 an hour journey turned into 1 and 1/2 hour nightmare :-(
On Tuesday morning, saw news report that there was a huge huge jam near Ashram flyover and I immeditely dropped any plan to drive to office. Did e-commuting. When Kush came from school, he was pleasantly surprised to see me home so we had an impromptu pillow fight before he was sent to take a bath. Well, he didn't disturb me much in my work, he is a nice obedient kid :-)
There is a timer ticking for me. I can't say much right now, but the winds of change are blowing and clarion calls have been sounded. I will come back to this in another post.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Wine, Darwine and Windows games

Some time back I had installed wine to help me run some windows exe. At that point of time I had downloaded a game (exe, what else) which Kush much enjoys playing online. Unfortunately it never ran using wine giving some errors but for most of the part remaining silent, very silent. And I became busy with making Mediclik run on my Mac. Mediclik runs well using Safari or Firefox, but calendar widget never worked. So, I went around scrounging for a tool which would help me install IE. I found one. It is called ie4osx and when I tried installing it it demanded Darwine. So even when I had Wine, I installed Darwine and ie4osx installed IE6 on my Mac. Using this IE6, I was able to run Mediclik and test the calendar widget (worked very well). Thanks to ie4osx team !!!!
With the Darwine came the WineHelper which supposedly ran the windows exe. And I remembered the half done job of making game.exe run on mac. So the fun began.
Test with Darwine. Gave error that some library can't be loaded, Flash can't be loaded. I installed a Flash10b.ocx using Winetricks, but still the same problem.
I used Wine and well we moved on to one more step. I could see the game window, but the game won't launch.
I kept searching over the net, but drew a blank. At this point of time I almost gave up.
Just to test if the setup is all right, I installed another game and tried running it with Wine. It did. But Darwine gave problem again. But anyways, at least I can run some game. I had read a refrain repeatedly on the net that there are some games or apps which won't run with Wine or Darwine. So maybe the first game falls in that category.
Maybe if I get some time, I will see if I can make Darwine run the first game. The errors are understandable there :-) I never said solvable, did I :-)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Mediclik and License server

after all the hullaballoo about the chat and ireport tool creating problem, I found the problem to be a jar file in the lib folder, which on removal solved the problem. so, Mediclik application is again running beautifully on my Mac. The only thing that doesn't work is the calendar widget. I am using safari and firefox, but can't get it to work. I have seen it work on IE on XP so I know it works. I did a google on it, but the results were disheartening with claims that calendar widget doesn't work on any of the browser on Mac. pathetic state of affairs, if true :-)
so, we are onto the last lap here. Mediclik is almost stable with all the features that we had decided. right now look and feel are being changed and after that comes the hardest bit of it. you see being a startup, Chiasma solutions is very afraid that once someone buys a CD, he/she may hand it over to the freewheelers who will use it but won't pay us. Sort of like software pirates at work !!!!
biggest challenge is how to stop them. the approach we have taken is to make the user register with us online. this will be a one time operation, but has to be done so that we can authenticate it with the side effect that we will also be able to allow only one installation from one CD by uniquely identifying the CD and disabling any other installation from that CD. Now the fact is that the target audience, the small clinics, may not have internet connection. This was my biggest concern but it was decided that the salespersons will have some data card with them that they will use to connect to Internet and help the buyer to authenticate their software version. This to me is a highly flawed strategy which is going to cause umpteen amount of trouble. Imagine a salesman walking some medical clinic guy through the steps needed. What if the data card does not work? What if the salesman is unable to do what he is supposed to do? We have to arrange for their traninings etc. But as of now, this approach has been decided and if it sucks then we got to live with it :-(
now the next part of agenda - install IE8 so that i can run the calendar widget and work on my gaming experience :-)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Mediclik, iReport and chat

Well, well, well, what do we have here?
a tool which runs as a web application on Tomcat, which uses iReport tool to generate pdfs for reports using jrxml and jasper files and which now has support for chatting.
Now, it seems that iReport and Chat won't work together :-(
I think the problem is with the jar files in the lib folder, but this has to be found out...
For chat, 2 new jar files have been added and that complicates thins for iReport. What's the link b/w two? need to find that out.
On Tuesday night, my wife lost her aunt. She was in coma for last 1 and a half months in Apollo and the end was prolonged. First we heard of cardiac seizure which was then rectified. Finally at 11 PM, the inevitable was declared. It still came in as a shock. There were many many things to do after and that took quite some time. Past 2 days have just gone in a blur.
I came to my desk on Thursday and find this seemingly idiotic problem of ensuring that 3 tools run together. Well, life goes on.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

sweet smell of success !!!!

Finally, after a lot of heart burn and lot of fixing issues, Mediclik ran successfully on my MAC.
here are the detailed steps :-)
1) create a war file using all the source files and jsp pages. make sure that library has all our libs too.
2) deploy the war using Tomcat. there is a lib file for jdt core inside TOMCAT/lib folder. copy that to Tomcat folder in the lib folder. change context.xml to mention reloadable = true. add all the lines for db connectivity.
3) make sure that mysqld is running. i couldn't connect to mysql initially so changed permission on the files and folders being used by mysql.
4) create databases using script
5) click on the link of deployed war file. voila !!!!!

it took me close to 7 days and innumerable hours. but it is there running now.

The next step on the agenda is to make games run using wine. right now if i try a graphics rich game using wine, nothing happens. on the net there is someone who claims that apple implementation of xcode is all broken. So that's the next step :-)

I also want to read all about AppleScript and about Symbian.

Plus one simple game development using J2ME. Target this weekend.

Monday, July 20, 2009

mediclik won't work on my mac !!!!!!!

if the last week was crazy, this week including the weekend was crazier. i had been testing mediclik, our product, on windows and then suddenly i had this bright idea. Why not bring it to my mac? and so started the whirlwind of installing one application after another. install mysql? check. install tomcat? check. install mysql connector? check. use netbeans to create a war? check. deploy war using tomcat? check. login to application? fail.....
change track. use netbeans to create a war using existing resources. deployed it successfully. login failed again.
check if the db connection is ok. there are no logs so no idea. verified that every service is running properly.
use netbeans to create a new war but moved the folders inside WEB-INF. war created and deployed successfully. this time at least login screen opened properly. wrong login gave error. correct login gave nothing. the screen didn't change.
checked all the classes. realized that some files are not being compiled. error is that it can't recognize json objects. did an internet search for the same. found a good article. did things accordingly. compile failed again.
and so on and so forth. i will find something blocking, check it out on the net, try things and find that things are still not working. gooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!
i must admit that the feeling of dropping everything was sometimes overwhelming, but i have persisted nonetheless.
Apart from this never ending cycle of changes to make mediclik work on my mac, I did find time to chat with Abhishek about starting part time on mobile application development which if successful could lead to a new company and about job scenes in Bangalore. things are bad these days even in the silicon valley of India.
Did read some articles on game development using J2ME but these are simple games and simpler articles. not much to talk about, not much to learn. I am looking for a really good book on J2ME game development.
In trying to find some good games, I was given some SIS files by my bro. Now SIS is a symbian file which can run only on those cellphones which are symbian compliant. Motorola is not. Motorola quit Symbian group as it felt that Symbian group is being hijacked by Nokia. As of now there is no tool which can make SIS file run on Motorola phones. Looks like this is another agenda item on my plate. I am going to read about Symbian now.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

J2ME, Macport and Wine

The whole last week was crazy. After I gave up my efforts on realistically getting my hands on some code files for mobile games using Java decompilers, I started concentrating on creative aspect of it. Imagine me developing a brand new game for my son!!!!!!!!!
The idea just kind of kept growing on me until I was unable to shake it off. It just looked like the most important thing to do. So after I started dreaming about it, I knew the time of the idea had come. I looked around on the internet for common tools to develop games. There are games based on Flash, on PHP and finally using Java. Now Java is a language I understand. So more digging on it revealed the names of J2ME. More digging led me to microemulators and other plugins that need to be installed. And so after a long long time and downloading lot of files, I was able to set up the environment, ready for some action. Now as per the 2nd step of the agenda, I am reading a lot about game development constructs, the methods, the design etc etc. So far it has been fun !!!!!
While on J2ME and game development, my son came up with another request. He wanted to run an exe file on Mac. Now it can't run, see. Exe is meant for windows not Mac OSX. But my son wont' listen. So again searched on internet and rammed into MacPorts and Wine. Wow!!! A windows emulator on Mac !!!! After I read a lot about how to install these cool applications, I was able to install MacPorts. But then I needed XCode. So I became member of ADC, downloaded XCode (1gb) and installed it. Right now Wine is being installed. Hopefully by evening I will have it ready so that my son can run his game exe on my Mac. things that you need to do for your son !!!!!!!!!!!
Apart from all these esoteric geeky stuff, I also read Paulo Coelho's The Pilgrimage. It is really really bad. I had loved Paulo's Alchemist, but this book had no believable characters, no great philosphical discussions, nothing working. My advise to you will be to avoid this book. Just reread the Alchemist once again.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

java decompiler

Well, you see, my son has grown fond of playing games on my motoming and well there are certain games which are freely available but their source code is not. So that I always had jar files with classes, but no java files. And well, my apple of eyes has certain problems with some games "papa, ye nahi chal raha", "papa ye sirf nokia ke liye hai". And to be very honest, I am not the world's best programmer so I can't really churn out code for a brand new game for him. But after working in software companies for 8 years, I have learnt a lot about code reusability and how much easier it is to understand a given piece of code and doing changes on it :-)
Now, with a jar file of classes, I can't do much, can I? So, I started searching for java decompilers freely available on net. I ran into JDEC 2.0 and well I tried it. it gave me mixed success. For all java games fanatics, it is common news that game developer of asteroids has placed the source code freely available. So for the class file of asteroid, JDEC ran swooningly well. But for another game, where the name of file was a.class, it gave an exception "string index out of range" and it kept giving this error for other files that i was interested in. I couldn't decompile any other single file using JDEC, it was that bad. And I kept getting the same error. The error was always in JDEC source code file and to my surprise I found that I have only the class files in JDEC folder. and so guess what, i turned the tool on itself. When JDEC tool finished decompiling the error throwing file, I got a java file but of course I couldn't find the error. The line numbers had been mashed up or something like that so I couldn't locate the error throwing statement and so to bring a long story to end, JDEC has been totally ineffective for me.
And so now I start again. I see that there is another tool called JOD which I will try now. More updates later...

Friday, July 3, 2009

After a looooooooooooooooong time !!!!!


Well, I am back after a really really long hiatus !!!
Many different events have occurred with my completing HEC diploma, my fruitless efforts to find a job in Europe, my coming back to India, my joining a startup and many many trials and tribulations to settle down.
Well, this post is dedicated to the startup Chiasma Solutions and its flagship product Mediclik. Now when I joined this company, work on Mediclik had been meandering and my first reaction was to admit defeat and focus energy on some new work. However because of some curious turn of events, I was forced to sit back and take a relook at the product.
Mediclik is a web based application designed for small clinics and nursing homes. The key word is small. This product is not meant for big hospitals. Rather it tries to address the real life needs of small to mid sized (50 - 100 patients) nursing homes. Well to cut a long story short, the product is now complete and ready to be showcased to the world. Take a look at the image above and check out for yourself the cool looks !!! This is from one login only. We provide 4 different logins for users from admin to operator to in house pharmacist and doctor. The product looks awesome now :-)
Well my part of the job is to find an audience online, so I studied all the cryptic sounding and really mystifying concepts of SEO. I tried adding mediclik to some online directories (free of course) and well nothing ...
It seems that for any reasonable chance of online success, one has to be ready to shell out big bucks. This is really awful because we are a startup and we really don't have the big bucks to splurge on marketing gimmicks. As of now, we are trying out other avenues too like making cold calls to nearby nursing homes, but the conversion rate is not really taking off.