Summer of misery

Summer of misery

This journal of events played out in the summer of 1982. Umesh had told me that I should tell you about myself at the very beginning itself. He said it was good etiquette. I am Aashu, I am 12 years old and I am really tall. Well, not really very tall but tall in my class sort of tall. Even Umesh is taller than me but then he is 25 years old and so he has to be taller than me. My brother Reshu is 10 years old and he thinks that he will be the tallest guy in the family after some years as he was the tallest child in his class last year. I and Reshu live with my parents in a big house at Khempur.

The town of Khempur is an old historical town but somehow progress has missed it completely or maybe the date of progress rolling in our town has not yet come. The roads are mostly broken. The rich people have moved to bigger cities, leaving behind their big houses locked, now covered by bushes and shrubs and grass. The television has come to very few houses but for majority of households, like us, there is no television. Even phone connections are very rare. One has to go to the post office to make a call. Some trains stop at our station but very few people would want to alight here. The tourists do not come here. There is nothing really for them to sightsee. There used to be a fort here. If you head northwards towards our school and take the road leading to Fatehpur town, you will see a hillock on the left side. On top of that hillock, there is a fort but it is in such a dilapidated state that it is impossible to believe that a king once ruled from here. Our town is located on the bank of river Ganges, the holiest of rivers. Sometimes we go there for boating and it is indeed a vast river but so peaceful. The power supply is actually bad. We get power only for 2 hours, maximum for 3 hours. It is such a usual thing that people complain of it only during summer. The summer months are hot, very hot and a ceiling fan is a welcome relief. In the summer evenings, mosquitoes would come calling and it is close to impossible to step out without fighting the battle of death with them. All the mosquitoes jump at you, all of them at the same time. So you keep on waving your hand or your legs and you do whatever you need to do as soon as possible and then you run back to the safety of mosquito net. Sleep would be impossible without the mosquito nets but even then the mosquitoes would find ways to enter our beds. The mosquitoes over here are very greedy. They keep on sucking blood. They are never satisfied. Mama tells us that they are like vampires. You need to kill them before they suck you dry. I find it very difficult to believe her story of how someone had been bitten by so many mosquitoes that he had died of loss of blood. Malaria, yes, but all blood lost, not possible. Every time I would speak against this story, Reshu would support the story. It is always with us. If I support something, Reshu has to go the other way. Before Umesh came in, I used to sometimes slap Reshu for disobeying me, but Umesh has asked me not to hit my kid brother and I have heeded his advice.

This is our ancestral house. Before us, our grandfather had lived here with his children and his retinue of servants. After he passed away, my father inherited the house and we have been here since. My father works as an officer in a bank and he goes to his office near the station. I and Reshu both go to Mount Snaps School near our house and we were considered average students before Umesh arrived. Umesh is our distant cousin and when he had come to meet our father, we met him for the first time. He had found a job in the town and had come over to our place so that he could join the company and simultaneously look for another house to rent. But after some ten days or so, my mother prevailed upon my father to let him stay in our house. She was of the opinion that the house was very big and it would be good if some more people would come to stay with us. And so Umesh brought along his wife and got the first floor to himself. Of course he never objected to us when we played hide and seek on the first floor and sometimes he would join us too. His wife Sheila is very nice and gentle. She was carrying a baby and the doctor had asked her to be very careful, so she would sit and watch us play.

I and Reshu were considered average students. We did not like to study. The subjects were horrible, the teachers were either incompetents or very boring and we found the school insufferable. Umesh took on the responsibility to tutor us. Both Papa and Mama were very happy to see us slog for our tests. When the annual examinations rolled in after two months, we were indeed prepared for them. The result day came in and my father was the proudest man in the school. Both his sons had done very well in the tests and even the teachers had spoken very kindly of us. This led to rise of Umesh’s stocks too in his eyes and if he had any reservations about him moving in with us, he let go of all of them. In short, life was good.

On the day of 12^th May, Reshu had gone to play with Amar, his classmate. He lives three houses from our house and Amar’s father, Mr Naman, is a good friend of Papa. So, we could walk in their house at any point of time. I had gone to pick him up when I found these big posters stuck to the walls :

“Babaji has arrived. Come to seek his blessings”

There was a big photograph of Babaji in his whites. He had a serene smile on his face. His white beard was flowing down. The poster said that he had walked in the Himalayas and he had met angels over there. He had obtained miraculous powers. He could heal deadly diseases. He could make your wishes come true. My first reaction was disbelief and I remember that Reshu and I had laughed about it. Babaji had resembled a villain in one of the comics that we had read and we were joking about it all the way home.

The next day we saw a lot of young disciples, all in the age group of 25-45, knocking each household and handing out pamphlets. One of them came around to our house too. He was young, he was polite and he kept singing praises of Babaji. Mama was sufficiently impressed by his talk and when Papa came home that evening, Mama told him that we would all go to see Babaji. At first Papa refused but then he agreed just to end the argument. Umesh was to accompany us but Sheila was to stay at home.

There was one big ground in the center of town. If a circus would visit our town it would always set up tent in that ground. Babaji’s first “darshan” was to happen in that same ground on May 15^th.

On 15^th of May, when we reached the ground, it was packed full. Almost whole of the town had come around to see Babaji and to get his blessings. We got seats some rows back from the elevated stage but it was good enough to get a good view of the proceedings. The first speaker was an old man, probably 60 yeas old, who praised the power of Babaji sky high. He told us that no one knew the real age of Babaji, that Babaji had walked on Earth for at least 1000 years, that even though he was so old no one could tell it from the way he carried himself. The second speaker was much younger and he described the miracles that Babaji had carried out in the past. This was the same stuff that was mentioned in the posters. Then some sections of the crowd started cheering for Babaji. At first the tempo was slow but gradually the pitch kept getting higher so that at one point of time everyone was bellowing around us. There was so much noise that I got a headache just listening to it all. I could see that Reshu was getting sick too. Papa and Umesh were getting uncomfortable. Then a very old man, stooped due to advanced age, walked up the stairs. Immediately a hush descended on the ground. Babaji was here. He climbed the stairs slowly but with no discomfort. Once he came on the stage, he sat cross-legged on the cushion and closed his eyes. I thought he looked around 80 years old, the same age as that of our grandfather when we had come to meet him. He certainly did not look like a 1000 years old person. The speaker on the dais touched his feet and set up the MIC near him. When Babaji spoke, his voice was low but not weak. He gave a short speech on the human frailties and how instead of focusing on what we have we focus on what we do not have and this leads to misery. I must say his voice was magical and most of us were completely engrossed in listening to him. When Babaji told us that he had chosen this town to stay because he could feel that good people live here and he wanted to help us, the crowd went crazy. There was such a loud cheer that I thought I would go deaf. At this point of time, Reshu suddenly started retching so Papa cut our trip short and we all came back.

Amar came next day to our house and told us of one miracle that Babaji had performed on the stage. Some people had brought a very sick child to him and when Babaji had blessed him, the child actually sat up. His parents started crying that it was after six months the child has the strength to sit up. He was very impressed by the act but Papa told us that it could have been an act and that we should not be so gullible. Our town people thought otherwise and very soon Babaji had captured everyone’s imagination. All were discussing him and his powers had everyone convinced that we were all witnessing the grand acts of a very powerful sage.

One week after the grand entry of Babaji in our town, I was cycling to the town library to get some books when I saw some 1000 people working very hard on a boundary wall. An ashram was being built for Babaji. He had decided to stay in our town and so everyone in the town was trying to help set up a place for him and his disciples. In three days flat, the whole structure was built from scratch. For some one week or ten days, there would be “satsang” every evening at the ashram and I had to attend some of them with Mama. Sometimes she would let me wander around and I saw that the ashram was indeed built beautifully. The floor was built of marble, the walls had grand pictures hanging on them and there was even one artificial fountain in the center of the ashram. Big boundary walls kept the noise of the streets out. The disciples would always keep an eye on children like me and after some time, every one of us would be escorted back to our parents. I told Reshu about it and he had the same opinion. They would let us hang outside the ashram but they would never let us enter it. Perhaps Babaji would get disturbed.

On May 31st, I saw a disciple in saffron robes step out of Amar’s house. I was curious about it and asked him about it when he came to play with us. Amar told us that his father had asked him not to tell anyone about the disciple’s visits. The next morning, I and Reshu were coming back from the market when we passed by Amar’s house. Someone was shouting inside the house. It was Amar’s dad. I had never seen him angry before. Today he was swearing profusely and from time to time Amar or his mother would scream. We assumed that he must have been hitting her. We did not dare enter the house but we shared it all with Mama who asked us not to snoop around on the neighbors. That evening Amar did not come out to play. Reshu went over to his house but Amar’s mother told him that there had been an accident and Amar had broken his hand and that he would not be able to come to play for some time.

We both came back and I wondered aloud whether it had something to do with the morning mania at their house. Reshu had got scared and he did not say anything back. We took out some old comics and began leafing through them. I was bored and I had read all these stories so many times. My attention was drawn to the other room where Papa was talking with Mr. Dutta, his colleague. It was the name of Babaji that piqued my curiosity. I deliberately came closer to the door interconnecting the rooms and eavesdropped on the conversation. Mr. Dutta went on and on about how he had obtained a private meeting with Babaji. In the course of meeting, Babaji had asked Mr. Dutta about any desire that he wanted to fulfill. Mr. Dutta had admitted that he was looking to make more money. Babaji had ribbed him about it and pointed out the many faults of possessing too much money. But Mr. Dutta had been persistent, so Babaji had blessed him but he had put a condition. He had told Mr. Dutta that he was unable to make more money from his side business because of his brother and his father who were staying with him. It was due to their bad vibes that Mr. Dutta was suffering monetarily. And so it had passed that Mr. Dutta had thrown his brother and his father out of his house and he himself had come over to our house so that he could find a sympathetic listener. However Papa was not at all impressed and I had to move away from the door because he was getting angry and I did not want to get caught eavesdropping when he was in such a foul mood. I did not share this with anyone but I was appalled by Babaji’s condition. How could he ask someone to do such an evil thing? Where would Mr. Dutta’s old father and his unemployed brother live? It was all wrong.

The next day was a very hectic one. Sheila had to be rushed to a maternity clinic because she was in pain. I and Reshu had to stay at the house while Mama went along with Sheila. Umesh was already there, having taken leave from his company for the day. Towards the evening, Umesh came home with Mama. He was not happy, he was very angry. What had happened? Our questions were rebuffed by Mama but we came to know that Sheila was ok but the baby’s condition was critical and that most likely it would die. Umesh was very distraught as they had lost one baby two years back. At first he cursed Sheila but later he started cursing all the gods and goddesses whose name he could invoke. Papa consoled him and took him out for a walk while Mama cooked food for us quickly and when Papa came back alone, she asked him to drop her at the clinic so that she could take care of Sheila. Where did Umesh go? We could hardly do anything so we stayed in our room and went through comic books. We had to go to sleep at 10 PM. Mama had not come back till then. At around 3 AM in the night, my sleep was disturbed by some sounds. I was very groggy but I identified Mama’s voice in the next room. Why have they all come back so late in night? In the morning, when I woke up, Reshu was already up who told me that Umesh and Sheila have also come back last night and that they were upstairs. When I enquired about the baby, Reshu professed his ignorance and Mama would not say anything at all.

That evening, a young man in saffron robes visited our house and asked for Umesh. I took him upstairs where Umesh and Sheila were expecting him. I tried to hang around but they sent me downstairs so I could not hear what they discussed. The next morning Umesh took Sheila to the ashram and when they came back in the afternoon, they were both smiling. Umesh had bought some sweets too. It was “rasamalai”, Reshu’s favorite. Umesh told Mama that Babaji had blessed Sheila and told them they would have a son who would do great deeds. The baby was sleeping in Sheila’s arms. It was so cute, so small. Mama told us that the baby could not open its eyes and that it needed to sleep a lot. Umesh was carrying some bags, which were carrying food for baby. It seems Babaji had arranged for special food for the baby. He had administered some special medicines to the baby and had been very clear that the baby needed these medicines for the first six months of its life and if Umesh failed to administer the medicines, the baby’s health would be affected severely. Moreover Babaji had asked some of his team members to deliver medicines to Umesh for free of cost. Well, at that moment I felt I had misjudged Babaji. Babaji was not that evil person.

Umesh was very happy though Mama was confused. The baby was very healthy but pre-mature babies are generally very sick. But Papa asked her to forget it all and focus on the baby. Later on, I realized the source of Mama’s confusion. She felt that Babaji could have swapped the babies. A pre-mature baby is generally very sickly and under-weight but this one had rosy cheeks.

We were all thrilled to bits with a baby in our house. When Mama went upstairs to bathe the baby, Sheila told her that Babaji had asked her to keep the baby away from everyone’s gaze. The other condition was that baby food would come from the ashram and only that food had to be given to him. We were barred from going upstairs. Reshu was very upset that he was not allowed to play with the baby but Papa took us out for ice-cream and we promised to behave. Someone from the ashram brought the baby food and medicines daily from that day onwards. That was the only sign that we had a baby in our house. The baby never cried and no sound came from upstairs.

Days were getting hotter. Power cuts were norms of the day and it was impossible to step outside during the day as temperatures reached 45°C. All through this we never heard the baby crying. Mama told us that it was amazing. A first time mother handling her baby in such a manner was unheard of. We used to stay put in the house the whole day, making up stories and whiling time, waiting for the cooler evenings when we could step out and play with our friends.

It was now middle of June upon. Papa came back early one day. His face was ashen. Mr Dutta had been murdered by his brother. When he had learnt of it, he had gone to Mr Dutta’s place to pay his last respect. It was then the policeman stationed over there told him about the incident. Mr. Dutta’s brother had walked in the house and stabbed him. Then instead of running away, he stood his ground till the time the police had arrived on the scene and arrested him. His brother kept taking Babaji’s name and in his confession statement, he had mentioned that he had also gone to Babaji to seek his blessings and that he had been told that his father would live in peace only if he would kill Mr. Dutta. However the senior officer had removed all references to Babaji from the confessional statement. Papa was very upset that it was Babaji who had sent a brother to kill his own brother.

There was a brief mention of the incident in the newspaper the next day but it just stated the facts and no mention of Babaji. That evening Naman uncle, Amar’s father, came to visit us. We stayed away from him as we both remembered how he had broken Amar’s hand. He was sad though. I don’t know why but I hung around near the door again to listen to their conversation. Naman uncle began by stating how miserable he had been. He confessed that he had been lured by Babaji’s promise of wish fulfillment and that in his private meeting with him he had prayed for name and fame. He had written some books but his books had never been published. Once again Babaji had asked him to reconsider. When he had persisted, Babaji had agreed to help him but on one condition, that he had to beat his wife and his only child and that someone from the ashram would bear witness to it all and if Naman did what he was expected to do, the ashram would help him in getting his books published. The first time he had beaten them, the disciple stationed outside had reported that it was a mild beating, and they turned Naman away. So the next day, he had been brutal, leading to a fracture in Amar’s hand. This time the disciple was sufficiently impressed and that same day someone from a publishing company had approached him and offered him a deal on the publication of his very first book. The book had been published but instead of feeling happy and satisfied, Naman had felt numbness and emptiness. He was weeping while he spoke of it all. His only son had got so scared of him that he would start screaming if Naman even approached him. Papa consoled him and asked him to make a fresh beginning. When Naman uncle left, Papa stayed in the office for quite some time. Then he went out to meet someone.

At least this was clear to me now. Babaji would provide means to fulfill one’s deepest desires but in return he would ask for something that would corrupt some aspect of the petitioner’s life. Does the petitioner really desire the outcome he wants? If so, is he willing to pay the price for it?

The next evening some neighbors and some colleagues of Papa, assembled at our house. Papa addressed them about the menace the ashram was creating in our society. I and Reshu were both proud of how well he spoke. Papa kept repeating that we all need to take some step now and get the ashram closed. Babaji and his gang must have come to know about this meeting. At least I think so because the very next day Papa was suspended for dereliction of duty. His senior officer had turned against him. Papa was to stay at home till the time a commission was set up to take decision on his suspension. The charge on him was that he had embezzled funds. It was a horrible time for all of us. The prospect of losing his job made Papa very miserable. He could not sleep for two nights in a row and on the morning of July 5^th, he stepped out of the house without informing anyone of us. We did not know that he had gone to the ashram. He came back in the evening with one disciple who was carrying packets containing baby food. Mama was very upset but she was helpless. Papa must have agreed to do something evil. He joined the bank next day itself. The complaint was withdrawn and all references to it were removed.

Contrary to what I had assumed, Papa had not started beating us all. But something ate him up. He was unable to sleep properly at night, muttering something only he could understand. Mama was very concerned about the lack of proper sleep. She had heard of how stress creates heart troubles and she wanted him to let go of it all. But Papa was not at peace.

All these days, I and Reshu had stayed away from Umesh’s baby. Umesh had kept his distance too. Perhaps he felt guilty. He had started asking Sheila to lock the gate on the staircase so that we could not go upstairs. We had started to avoid him. On the intervening night of July 14^th and 15^th, there was a shrill cry that came from upstairs. It was not the cry of a baby, rather it was a scream of an animal in pain. It was very hot and I was tossing about in bed when I heard the scream and after that I could not go to sleep. Was it really the baby? Why did it cry that way? By the time I fell asleep, I had decided that I just had to take a look at the baby. The next morning I and Reshu discussed the matter. We knew that what we were embarking to do was not appropriate and there was every chance that we could get caught and punished. But after last night, we both were very curious and so we planned the mission. We had to wait till Mama would go to take her bath. That would give us 20 minutes of window, give or take 2-3 minutes. I had to jump over the gate and hide myself somewhere. Then Reshu would ring the bell which will force Sheila to come to the gate. This will give me some time to rush in and to look at the baby. Then I needed to hide and bide my time. Once Sheila would go back to her room, I would cross the gate once over and complete the mission.

At the decided hour, I jumped over the locked gate. Though it was difficult, I managed to do it. Once I had jumped over the gate and ran up the stairs, Reshu gave me two minutes to hide before he rang the bell three times and ran to hide himself. I had managed to hide in the spare room near the door to the staircase and had waited with bated breath for Sheila’s arrival. She did not come out immediately and after an eternity, I heard her shuffling towards the door. I peeped from the gap of the closed door and found her to be not only untidy but disheveled too and that her face would grimace every time she would shift her weight on her left foot. Once she had hobbled past the door and onto the staircase, I tiptoed as fast as I could to her room. The baby was lying on the bed. He was awake. He had grown up very fast. He appeared to be a six months old baby! He was covered with a thin sheet. I pulled the sheet away gently. He was beautiful. He was kicking his legs up when he noticed me. His eyes were green, luminous green. Sheila and Umesh had grey eyes. How did the baby have green eyes? I thought he was going to cry out so I tried to hush him. But he screamed and it was the same scream that I had heard last night and then he went limp, like he had died or something. I was so scared that I did not even realize that Sheila had managed to come back. Instead of shouting at me, Sheila went to the bed and sat beside the baby. She touched his cheek once and without looking at me, in a very tired voice, she asked me to leave. Her voice was so creepy that I immediately made good my escape. When I jumped back over the gate, Reshu had been waiting for me. But I never said anything to him. I was afraid I would scare him silly so I lied to him about getting caught by Sheila. How could a baby scream like that? What was it? Why did it go limp?

That evening when Umesh came back home, I was very scared that Sheila would tell him about my misadventure upstairs and that he would complain to Papa about me. After some time, when Papa came home, Umesh came downstairs. He had been crying. He talked in whispers with Papa and Mama who then went upstairs with him. After some time, Papa and Umesh came downstairs while Mama stayed with Sheila. Papa did not speak at all.

Umesh went out, presumably to the ashram. When he came back, he had a bundle in his hand and he was accompanied by three young men all wearing saffron robes. They all went up and stayed there for close to one hour. All we heard was loud voices reciting incantations. Then one of them came down and went outside. I told Reshu that he had gone to the post office to make a call to the ashram. Reshu did not agree with me but when he saw a car stopping in front of our house, we both knew that I had guessed correctly. When we saw who alighted from the car, we were both shocked and scared. It was Babaji. He had come to our house. There were other disciples with him. Babaji shuffled slowly towards the stairs. It was difficult for him to walk up the stairs but he managed just fine. I was dying to be upstairs to check what was going on but Papa would not let me or Reshu out of his eyesight. Mama, Umesh and Sheila witnessed the whole thing and this is a very much watered down account of what happened that night. Umesh has promised me that he will share the actual details with me when I am all grown up.

That evening when Babaji went upstairs, he first checked the baby. Sheila was crying while Mama was trying to console her. When Babaji declared that nothing can be done and they all got up to leave, Umesh and Sheila grabbed his feet and began beseeching him that he must do something. Mama told me that at this Baba had laughed.

“Fools!!! You had already promised me that I will take your child when he would turn 5. He has left us even before he turned one, so why do you cry?”

Umesh stepped back but Sheila kept crying loudly and would not let go of Babaji’s feet.

“Baba, I can’t live without my son. Please do something.” She kept repeating that. Babaji wavered a little and then said.

“I can bring your child back. But you will have to pay for it. Nothing gets done for free. Will you be willing to do so? You cannot go back on your word, remember that”

Sheila nodded her head. Umesh was having second thoughts now but Sheila had committed to something without even knowing what it was. Babaji asked her to reconsider but she was adamant. She told him that she was ready for anything as long as her son was alive. Umesh tried to pull her back gently but Sheila pushed him back violently.

“OK. That settles it. Your son will live but you will have to murder your husband. Is that OK? Would you do it?”

Babaji waited for some moments but when Sheila kept nodding her head, he asked her again.

“Do you agree to that?”

Sheila managed a weak “yes”. At this, Umesh started shouting at the absurdity of it all. Three disciples held him and pinned him down. The others had raised their voices reciting chants and the voices kept getting louder and louder. We heard this din downstairs. I was very curious and I wanted to go check it out but Papa would not let me go. Mama told me that Babaji got one big knife out of his pocket, thrust it in Sheila’s right hand and asked her to do what she had promised. She got up, took two steps towards Umesh and hesitated. All three disciples who had pinned down Umesh started exhorting her.

“Come on, you need to hit him once in the neck, that’s all” said one of them.

“Come on. The knife is very sharp. It will go through like a hot knife in butter. Come on, don’t be tardy” said another.

Mama was so scared that she was left frozen on the spot. She could not move, could not speak, could not react and could not speak anything. Her throat had gone dry. She could only watch the drama unfolding.

Sheila shuffled right next to Umesh who was now squirming and trying to fight back. But it was a losing battle. Again Sheila hesitated. Babaji came to her now and held her by her shoulders. He muttered something in her ears, no one heard what it was, there was so much din going on but Sheila would not move. Babaji took the knife out of her hands and gestured to his people to let go of Umesh who immediately scampered back and stopped only when his back hit the wall. All the disciples went silent.

“It is so easy for me to pit one brother against another, father against his son, wife against husband. Why are you dissatisfied all the time? Why do you want everything? Why would you be willing to do anything to get what you want? Why do you keep making same mistakes again and again? This is my third foray in your world and every time the same drama unfolds. The only redeeming aspect is that at least some of you still believe in love, some of you still have regrets and some of you are strong enough to refuse temptations.” Here he looked at Sheila who had now crumped on the ground weeping slowly.

Then Babaji turned towards his disciples.

“Our time here is well spent. Let us head back to the Himalayas. We will leave tonight.”

With that, he went down followed in complete silence by his disciples. After their departure, we rushed upstairs and we found Mama sitting on the floor with her head in her hands and Sheila was sitting with her dead baby in her lap. Umesh was still standing with the wall on his back, his face still white with fear.

The next morning, everyone was talking about the ashram being empty. There was no trace of Babaji or his disciples. They had all left our town last night itself. Who was he really? Why had he come here? Was there some higher purpose to it all? There were no answers forthcoming.

Our town has limped back to normalcy or the closest thing to normalcy. Umesh and Sheila are still with us. They have started a course of therapy for Sheila and they would wait for some time before planning for a baby. Amar’s hand healed in two months. His father has mended bridges with him. We see them taking a walk every morning together, laughing and sharing jokes. Mr. Dutta’s father lives in his house and he takes care of Mr. Dutta’s children and his widow. The only question that I did not have answer to was the nature of deal that Papa had made with Babaji. I got to learn about it some two months after the ashram got closed when Papa was talking with Mama and he assumed I would not be able to hear what he was talking about. That fateful day, when Papa had gone to the ashram, they had made him wait for a long period of time and when he got an audience with Babaji, he was asked to clear the loan application of three persons who would apply in the next week. My father is a very honest and scrupulous person and he had already rejected those loan applications some time back. The papers were not in order. But when Babaji forced him to clear the paperwork, he had agreed to do so for the sake of his job. It had been a humiliating week for him and he was under lots of stress. One week after the ashram got closed, he had threatened those people to return the loan amount and to close their loan accounts which they had done finally after two months. And so after all these days, Papa was at peace. Finally we all could look forwards to a better tomorrow.